"You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure, and even a little danger.
-Damon Salvatore

Part of me wants to live in my fairytale,
where I can pretend that you're here.
For when I return to reality,
I must face the fact
that you are not.

I didn't know it could be this intense. This... intoxicating.
I thought I had a handle on it. I thought I could control what I felt.
Then you standing in front of me and it just hit me. This lighting strike. I did not want you to leave. Ever.
I could spend forever in your arms. I know I could.

Why do I find myself waiting?
Why do I want to sit on the back steps and wait for you to come?
Why do I hope every ring of my phone is you?
Why, when I am a strong, independent woman, do I feel sad when I don't hear from you?
How did I end up here?
Are you here too?

He had a dangerous look in his eyes,
and I wanted it to stay there.

I thought you were kidding.
I looked out the window and I saw red. No, I literally saw red. your car was in my driveway.
I grabbed some boots and my hoodie and went outside. I was both thrilled and furious.
What the heck were you doing at my house at almost 12:30 at night?
I got outside and went to your car. I knew you weren't in there but I opened the door anyway.
Nope.
I stood there trying to think of were you'd be. I figured you might be hiding. That's something that you would do.
Then I heard a laugh from the porch. And there you are leaning against the wall. It was perfect and adorable. I would've ran over to hug you. I wanted to laugh and throw myself into your arms for being so crazy. But I couldn't do that. So, instead I walked right up to you and started smacking you on the arm.
I've never known someone who makes me so happy and so aggravated at the same time. I was furious with you for being someone I couldn't have. Why couldn't I go with you?
Oh that's right, my dad was upstairs asleep and would have no clue were I was if he woke to find me gone. My dog would eventually wake him up, wondering were I went.
You asked me if sitting on the back porch was as daring as I got.
Sometimes it is. When there is a parent within a mile from where I am, no, I am not very daring.
But when I have no one to worry about but myself. Well, I might be a bit more daring.
I've always been a rebel in my own mind

You know, I was afraid that you didn't feel this way; that, while I was standing here thinking you were perfect, you were just humoring me. But, is it true? Do you really want to kiss me? Do you really feel that much? Or are you just tired and imagining things that aren't really there? I do that a lot. I pretend that the world is conditioned just for me and that I am at the center of every happenstance; that when a leaf blows a certain way, it has something terribly profound to do with my life.

I always look for romance, for fun and excitement. I like newness, I like to discover things. I want every day and every person I meet to be an adventure. I often think about being with someone and I think of the romance and cuteness, the fun and the little stories I’ll have to tell my kids about that guy I once dated. But do I ever think of love? Do I ever really consider what it’s actually like?

Every time I’m with you is an adventure. It’s always new. You never cease to amaze me. I only hope you find my company as riveting as I find yours. I don’t know what to tell you. I’m not mature; I’m not ready for anything this big. I've tried to put you somewhere that makes sense, but I don’t know where that is. If I ever find a place for you, well, maybe I shouldn't try. I’ll let God handle that. He’s the ultimate placer anyway. Maybe we could just hold hands, you know, for support. I think it’d help. I think it’d help me, anyway.

If you don’t want to, that’s okay. I understand. Maybe you want something better; someone who doesn't get confused so easily. But then again, you’re confused too. So, could it be that we actually work. Do we cancel each other out to end up being two people with a great understanding? No, I don’t think so. We do make a good team though. There isn't anyone else I could talk to like this.

Alone

I have no problem being alone.
Really, I can go just about anywhere by myself, as long as my sole purpose for going is not to meet people. If it is, then my preference is that I have a friend with me.
However, I enjoy singularity. shopping, going to eat, bible study, or just adventuring around town. Being able to go at my own pace is something I can appreciate.
I have come to a point where I no longer feel the need, or even the desire, to be in a romantic relationship. I realize this seems rather contradictory to my normal stance, but it is where I am right now.
I don't feel the need to enter into something that I cannot commit to. This occurred to me as I thought about my comfort with being alone. Because, although I am alone, I am not lonely.
My God is with me at all times. That keeps me from feeling lonely. I enjoy the company of my close friends, and would almost never turn down the opportunity to spend time with them. Nevertheless, as often happens, I find myself going out on adventures by myself and also find that I have no problem with it. It is not rare that I actually discover a wonderful day in my secluded world.
There is nothing wrong with spending time with just yourself, and God. It doesn't have to be boring, it doesn't have to be lonely. It is very important for a person to feel a sense of self worth. And sometimes you need to spend some quality time alone with yourself to discover that.

You can want something with every fiber of your being, but you will never have it if you do not ask. And no matter how easily you may get that something, you must work to keep it.

A kiss

A kiss should last long enough for you to memorize the shape of his lips. The feel of his hands. His smell. How he tastes. And then it should end, just when you think you've got it. And after you say goodnight, and he walks away, you stand there thinking that there is so much more to know. And be glad that you have forever to find out.

Sometimes, I just want to crawl into your arms and know that there is someone who I can always trust. Someone who will never abandon me.
I want to ask you to kiss me, just to know what it'd be like.